Curtsy to King of the World

by Kiko Matsing

To Protect James Cameron’s Feelings, Sacha Baron Cohen’s Avatar Sketch Is Cut From Oscar Telecast (NY Vulture)

Our insider informs us that Baron Cohen planned to appear onstage as a blue-skinned, female Na’vi, with Stiller translating “her” interplanetary speech. As the skit went on, though, it would become clear that Stiller wasn’t translating properly, because Cohen would grow ever more upset. At its climax, an infuriated Baron Cohen would pull open “her” evening gown to reveal that s/he was pregnant, knocked up with Cameron’s love child, and would go on to confront her baby daddy as if s/he were on Jerry Springer.

Mechanic, now both a producer of motion pictures and of this year’s Oscar telecast, was head of Twentieth Century Fox when Cameron’s Titanic famously went massively over budget and over schedule, so he’s well acquainted with Cameron’s sense of humor — or lack of it. “Let’s just say that Cameron isn’t known to be, shall we say, ‘self-deprecating,’” explained one insider familiar with the decision to cut the sketch.

Not such a long stretch to be a Na’vi.

Am I the only one who thinks Avatar was one big bore of a movie? Apparently, it’s as humorless as James Cameron. Go Hurt Locker!